The Office
Michael Scott is the regional manager of the Dunder Mifflin paper branch in Scranton, played by Steve Carell on The Office (US). He wants to be the world's best boss and everyone's best friend, and he tries way too hard at both. That is why his lines land: he is loud, needy, and dead serious right when he should not be, so the joke is usually him. Every quote below comes with the scene or episode where he said it.
“That's what she said.”
“I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.”
“Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.”
“I DECLARE BANKRUPTCY!”
“Sometimes I'll start a sentence and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way.”
“Well, well, well. How the turntables...”
“I'm running away from my responsibilities. And it feels good.”
“And I knew exactly what to do. But in a much more real sense, I had no idea what to do.”
“Boom. Roasted.”
“The worst thing about prison was the... the Dementors.”
“Society teaches us that having feelings and crying is bad and wrong. Well, that's baloney, because grief isn't wrong. There's such a thing as good grief. Just ask Charlie Brown.”
“I am Beyoncé, always.”
“I love inside jokes. I hope to be a part of one someday.”
“I feel like all my kids grew up, and then they married each other. It's every parent's dream.”